I can get to the grocery store
By myself now.
I can basically
Negotiate the metro.
I have a grasp
Of the currency.
I mostly understand
The accents
And smile politely
As people regale me
With all of their America Trivia.
I’ve used the phone-
Dialing a zero first,
Though it’s the opposite
Of all I’ve been taught.
I made the first pitcher
Of sweet iced tea
That’s ever been seen
In the Northeast,
Or maybe the whole of Britain,
And I’ve explained what it is
To the locals,
Looks of disgust on their faces.
[Tea isn’t yours, Brits,
You stole it from China.]
Today I bought a Snickers bar
Because it reminded me of home.
Here,
They’ll put corn on pizza,
And on a tuna sandwich.
Their traffic patterns
Seem counter intuitive
And I look both ways
A million times
Before I cross the street
Like a child,
Never sure which direction
The cars might be coming from.
I forget that tax is included
On price tags
And you don’t need to tip your server.
I still smile
As I walk down the street.
So far
Two people have smiled back.
Even the children are self-possessed,
And have no time for my superfluous joviality.
They scowl at me.
Dogs are welcome in pubs
But I have yet to pet one,
Not sure of the rules.
People beg on the streets,
Sat out in the cold,
But no one seems to stop.
Vendors serve food from carts
At the market by the river
And they don’t wear plastic gloves.
I haven’t seen anyone else
Using hand sanitizer
After touching the poles
On the metro.
Turns out,
Clothes dry without an appliance
Specifically designed for that task,
And a radiator will do just fine.
Everything is small,
Down to Barbie sized bottles of salad dressing
To fit in the miniature refrigerators
And pint sized ovens.
“Cuppa?”
Is a full sentence.
There’s tea at 12 Step Meetings,
Not coffee.
Today I bought a sandwich
And leaned against a wall
To people watch
And listen to a white guy
Rap about jesus.
[Idiocy seems to traverse continents.]
I got myself home
And talked to my grandmother online;
I snapchatted my cousin.
I know how to put on the kettle
And added British Leicester Cheese
To my scrambled eggs.
I seem to be falling into place,
Becoming an honorary Geordie.
But I’ll never stop saying y’all.
You’re getting the hang of it all, obviously!! I enjoyed your observations and comparisons. Thanks, CiCi!
I know you said we wouldn’t need any tissues, but i beg to differ. Your entry made me smile, and also choked me up. (Don’t tell Si… he’ll be a brat about it for sure). xo
Sometime different is good, sometime you hate it. It sounds to me like you are becoming accustomed to your new home. I can’t believe that scoff at iced tea.? What the heck. Always remember to say ya’ll and smile at everyone. That is what we Americans do. Just love where you are and be thankful everyday. We love and miss you sweet girl.
It is def. different, we lived in Germany for several yrs. and it’s a culture shock for sure! But like your sweet grandma says, always smile (I think they secretly like it) 🙂 and saying ya’ll is just in you, after all you’re a girl from the South. Have you had that coke/sprite mixed together drink yet? I thought that was a hoot, my girls liked it (they were pretty little) but I thought it was just weird. LOL It does kinda feel like you go back in time but there are all kinds of cool things to make up for the weird things like no dryers and College size frigs. Good Luck sweetie you will get the hang of it! 😉