Jittery and shaky,
The world is darker,
But somehow the sun shines brighter.
Tired,
But I can’t stop moving.
There’s a ringing in my ears.
Calmer,
And keyed-up
They prescribe the drugs
And I take them.
Trusting and hoping
They can heal me,
Fix me,
Bind me back together.
Make me whole again.
Maybe some increased serotonin
Can calm the storm inside.
Honestly,
I don’t know what I’m doing.
Blindly stumbling through life,
Trying to understand freedom,
To understand myself.
In some type of abuse-coma,
Some drug-induced haze,
And I cannot trust my own mind.
Trapped inside myself.
Trying not to love him,
Hate him, hate myself.
Stockholm syndrome reinvented.
